I start to wonder, wander through my mind that life is not what they promised,
It was a lie and now I'm stuck in this forest.
The forest of my mind,
I am lost, I have lost track of where I came from.
I don't know what to do or where to look because it all looks the same,
The wind begins to blow and the trees start to sway.
Isn't it funny how a small seed can magically turn into a tree?
But too many trees have burst through the soil of my thoughts,
I don't want to add fertiliser because I know that they'll grow.
They'll be too tall, they'll reach the sky of my mind, past the clouds of my soul into the space of my existence.
I don't want these trees to make me consistent; In these thoughts, I can't allow them to captivate my soul.
I have lost where the roots have stemmed from,
The haze in this maze is making me feel numb.
The root of confusion overlapping the root of 'why did he do that to me', twisting over the root of 'in the future what am supposed to be', turning over the root of 'why is my own mind killing me', bending around the root of 'how can I possibly help society'
The sound of this turns into a psychotic symphony,
Yes, yes, my roots are wired differently.
So they call me weird,
The outcast I was but to me that was weird.
My mind works in meticulous ways, I don't understand,
And now I can't stand.
The storm has started.
The wind of my breath blows harder, rain drops fall down my face, the thundery palpitations in my heart begin and the lighting bolts from my head burn my skin.
I remember, I remember why I always escape this forest adventure.
But I can't run for long, because night time always comes.
I crash land onto my bed and she crashes into me,
She leads me through the branches of every tree.
This is torture,
Maybe I could have avoided her a little longer.
But it's too late.
The never ending journey of overthinking has commenced.
And there will be panic attack stops along the way,
I know, the trees can be cut but the roots always stay.