"Pay No Attention"
By Samantha S. Mastorio
Those around me see someone grand,
Someone carefree and full of energy,
Little do they know, little do they see,
The contortions of the pieces within me.
Those who are sickest, indebted to live,
Never the same, just to see the clock tick on.
Those who need not, take time for granted,
While those who can count their last days embrace every second.
Forgive me, if my thoughts are tainted,
At times staying strong can require so much,
For today's world is all about what is owed
And it seems as if everyone is on their own.
When your back is against the wall,
It is difficult to separate those who seek to harm.
And when the masses are grouped as enemies,
Is it easy to surrender to autonomy.
My weakness is a need for reassurance,
That my efforts have not been wasted
When it comes, that sincere look in their eyes,
Washes away the poisoned taste, resets the scales.
Perhaps one day, Karma may smile my way,
But for now I must continue to fight off the demons-
The judgements that we pass
Without the insider's story.
I will continue to hide behind the mask, the curtain,
Hoping no one prompts to reveal its secrets,
For silence and a smile speak more for my character,
A facade to instill hope - the deserving are not extinct.