Perfect

Perfect

Perfect is a disease

That everyone is trying to achieve

No one is safe

And no one can hide from perfect

And it’s dreadful ways

 

The beautiful girl with flowing hair

And an amazing fashion sense

And kissable lips

As well as the most amiable personality

Has a mother that screams

Tells her she is not skinny enough,

Not smart enough

And that her skin is not as clear as it should be

And asks why her grades are not as high as they should be

And this girl sees how her parents

Pay more attention to her “perfect” brother

And how her parents constantly disapprove

Of the guys she likes because of the color of their skin

Of her actions because she hangs with friends on weekends

Of her grades because she is not good at math

And she keeps all of these feelings bottled up

And expresses her sadness behind their back

When she sucks guy’s dicks,

When she rolls a blunt,

Lights fire to it,

And when she’s high enough,

Extinguishes it and throws it out the window.

Her parents have lit the fire of hatred

And once she even brought a knife to her own skin

And slowly drew the crimson that was flowing through her

Because that pain was nothing compared

To what she lives through every day

But they stay cold and angry

Because they cannot see beyond her mask

 

And the girl with the most beautiful body

That has hair that always sits right

And a beautiful face

Sits in her rooms staring at her wall

She goes to parties and lies

Because her mother tells her to go on diets,

Calls her fat

And won’t let go of the girl’s cheating father

And many days stays in her room

Because she has a hangover from last night

And she lost her virginity to a guy

That turned around and broke up with her

She has considered suicide

With pills in one hand and life in the other

Only stopping when she decided to love herself

And now her mother’s image

Is mixed with that of the evil witch of the west

Because there were fights over her non-perfect grades

But her mom continues because all she sees

Is this girl that is not a perfect image

And not the broken piece of china inside

 

The third girl walks with less confidence

She hides behind the other two

Conflicted with her feelings

She loves both of them

But as more than the best friends they are

They have no clue

And jealousy overtakes her during every story

Of crazy escapades and sexual experiences

Because she wishes that she could experience that too

And maybe even with them

And she wishes that she could get high

And experience a momentary leave from her life

Where her grades must be perfect

Or else there will be a lot of screaming and explaining

And where from when she was young,

She was taught there’s not enough money to buy what you want

Her family smiles and loves her

And she loves them,

But she can’t tell them

How confused she is with her sexuality

Because they believe being gay is a choice

And would not accept her with any girl

And they don’t know

Everything she hides in the middle of the night

 

And in all three girls there is one cold hole

Where their hearts are supposed to be

It is the loneliness that clenches at their hearts

And pumps cold through their veins

And spreads until it’s suffocating them

Clawing at the bottom of their throats

Telling them they’re searching for something

But they have no idea what it is

And there is nothing that can fill it

Other than their small acts of defiance

That are ruining them in the end

And not those they are trying to hide from

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My community

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741