Perfect Place

 

 

Perfect Place

I've found the perfect place to talk about feelings
First stand in a room that is empty 
Second stare into a blank wall
Third say everything you need to say until you can no longer hear your voice
Until your words are drowned with the sounds of your sobs
But it's okay because no ones around, no will think your weak
My door is only closed because if you touch the doorknob you will get burned 
Wasn't what you expected? 
Maybe I'm not what you expected
This grand idea of the perfect girl only exists in the mind
Mind you I like when no one finds a flaw 
How can I explain to you that I see happiness in everyone's future but my own
Yes, I am a fortune teller and if I tell you who I am I won't be the fortune you thought you were lucky to win 
The thought of explaining to you who I am ties my tongue 
Knots so damn tight, your Boy Scout days seem nonexistent 
But let's do it anyway:
I don't open up because it is a sign of weakness 
So is crying 
It is giving the enemy ammunition to hurt you 
It is mounting your problems on someone who already has their own 
At one point I believed love didn't exist but that's slowly changing 
But I believe there is no love without pain 
And painfully I admit that I seem to not believe in myself 
I don't show it because confidence is attractive 
Confidence doesn't lead to others pitying you
That is undermining and not who I want to be
Then the worst part seems to be that I don't know who I want to be 
Yet I have these random brief moments of happiness, of hope, of life that leave as quickly as they came
So far the only goal I have is to make those brief moments into minutes, hours, days.
Maybe just one day could suffice. 

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