Sitting alone

you start to wonder what happened

having those 'what if' thoughts

what if you would have pretended to be okay

would you still be where you are

would you even be able to live with all the pain

no you wouldn't have

because pretending only leads to misery

but you end up feeling the same even when your truly honest with yourself

but if we are going to be forced to live through our lives facing even the smallest of pains

then why not

why not pretend everythings alright

why not pretend to be happy

it would be simple right

just smile and laugh

and make them think your just fine

no one has to know how you really feel on the inside

they don't have to know about the regrets that you make

or the lies that you speak

or even the secrets that are killing you to keep

they can live their whole lives without knowing

but can you live yours knowing that you kept it from them

knowing that it's killing you inside to pretend

come just face face it

no one is really ever happy

something will always be wrong

some people are just better at pretending than others

better at putting on a mask to hide their true feelings

to hide from it all

but you, you are an expert

you never stop smiling your always happy

nothing can hurt you

and its almost impossible not to believe that you are perfect

until someone looks into your eyes

until they look past all that fakeness

and see the real you

the you thats falling to peices

dying on the inside trying to pretend

but you can't

you can't keep lying to yourself

and isn't that all pretending is

just another lie

except this time you are only fooling yourself

and you can't do it, not anymore

it's just taking to much

you can't handle it

you've tried and lying to yourself just isn't working anymore

pretend time is over

 

-h.l