I was quick to loose that respect for you only cause I realized it was respect you didn't deserve.
At one point you were on a pedastal so high, that everyone else was below you, to me.
You didn't deserve that, because in reality you were nothing.
You should have been nothing, nothing to me.
That's how you threw me away, like nothing.
So this poem is called nothing.
It has no rhyme, no rhythm, no set mood.
Because that's how we were.
I don't regret anything and I never will.
You might have hurt me bad, but the only reason it hurt so bad was because I loved you.
Yes, I loved you hard.
With every inch of my heart I loved you.
I gave you more love than anyone our age should even have.
I loved you so hard it hurt.
So when you left me it hurt.
I loved you like nothing else mattered.
I gave you everything. The thing that really mattered I kept most dear.
Because you had every other part of me, that was one that I couldn't give you.
You made me promises.
Promises you made when you didn't know what you were getting yourself into.
You could have had all of me, if we lasted long enough for the broken promise to live.
I was broken, because you broke me.
And you suffered from it more than I did.
You ran from your problems, all of them that you had, you ran.
Whether it was behind your persona you want every one to believe,
Or that killing tree you climbed til you got to 9.
Or just to your room, to talk to me, you ran.
You ran from us.
But I pushed you away,
I pushed, you ran.
We both did it blinded by what we wanted, but not by what we wanted.
Then again, you weren't ready for what I was ready for.
When I was fixed, you were already gone.
There was so much left unsaid..
And there was no way to say it, if you wouldn't listen.
And you wouldn't listen... You didn't want anything to do with us anymore.
And us, ended so abruptly, so soon, so sudden.
We were happy, then we were fucked.
We were in love, then we were out.
We were us together, then we were against the world again.
And nobody understood us.
Nobody understood me, not even you.
Nobody understood you, not even me.
I wouldn't tell you what needed to be said.
I hid my feelings.
You hid your life.
And I forgave you.
I thought you forgave me.
But you couldn't love me like you used to.
You ran, I pushed.
And the biggest something I ever had, instantly became nothing.
And as many times, as I sit down and I know that I'm over it...
I know I miss you, too.
And I know I want my best friend back.
But as much as I miss you...
I say fuck you just that much.
Because you left me,
Like everybody I love.
The people I love the most,
The ones I give the most to
They abandon me, in the worst state.
And I would have never done that to you,
No matter what you did, and you did damage.
I will never understand how easy that was for you.
I will never understand how you can hate me like you do.
I knew we could never be friends again from the jump.
And all we shared, the moments we had.
The fun, the laughs, the kisses, the smiles, the embraces, the touches, the conversations, the looks, the jealousy, the trouble, the life, the short lived love that many think should have never happened.
I believed it was worth it. What's sad is I still have that hope we can be friends.
I hate how much I loved you.
I hate how much love I still have for you.
I hate that I miss you.
I hate how much you hate me.
I hate I can never again tell you how I feel.
I hate the way you left me.
I hate the way you made me look like nothing.
I hate the way you're fronting for the world.
I hate how you're sacrificing who you really are to be "Who you really are"
As many people who know you, they don't know you.
And I hate that they will never get to know the real you.
Because that's who I fell in love with,
Not because of your looks, how your flirted with me.
How you made me laugh, the compliments, because that's what you did with every one.
I fell in love with you, when you opened up to me and I saw the you that very few get to see.
Then you closed that you, and I got the same one everyone else got.
I just hope your happy, that's all I want.
And know that I'm happy, and I'm over you.
Don't fuck this up for me because you know I'll always love you, and I'll always care.
And don't give anyone else the nothing you gave me, because no matter what now,
The biggest something I ever had, instantly became nothing and that's what it is now.
If you give somebody something, give them a better nothing then you gave me.
This poem would even scratch the surface of everything I could say about the past 3 years.
This poem is only about what ended it. Only.
I have love for you my nothing. Goodbye.
This poem is called nothing, now you may or may not know why.