I couldn't think of anything I hated more than Nihilism.

And Nihilists.

And anything that has anything to do with Nihilism.

I hated it.

 

It's starting to make sense, though.

There's only so much slam poetry that I can take

And that I can take

And take

And take

Before GOSH!

It's ENOUGH!

Really, though, I'm sick of slam poetry.

And now all my poetry sounds like slam poetry.

 

I always felt a little

Excited

When those pictures would show up on my Facebook feed.

Oh, oh no.

Shoot. I wish I'd have allowed myself the backspace key.

I could have used some better words just then.

Well, I really mean that I like the pictures

That say things like

"Olny fvie precnet of poelpe cna raed tihs."

Wow. I must be special.

 

I liked being able to fill in gaps

With my brain.

I liked when people used v

Instead of very

Or p

Instead of pretty

Because I didn't have to be told what they stood for.

 

I liked starting my sentences with the

Wrong words

And being able to finish strong.

Or not-so-strong.

Being able to say, "you too"

When the ticket-checker

At theaters

Told me to enjoy the movie

And finish with, "I hope you…nevermind

I'm sorry." and then some laughter, on both ends.

Nothing gets said,

But we both have fun anyway.

 

I hated editing poetry in high school.

It seemed like the concepts I wanted to share

Were always taken. Or else they

Were being used by

Someone with

Slightly more skill and

Finesse.

Nothing seemed to work well for me

Except honesty, in my writing

And in my life.

 

I don't know anything that other people don't already know,

Haven't already discovered, more like.

The only thing that I can communicate

That nobody has seen before--or

Has seen with a better format

Or some better words

Or some words that sound nicer together than these--

Is the way I think. The way my brain makes a sentence

Falters

Tries to alter

It

And then stutters

Just

Just a little bit.

 

So nihilism changed me just for the very slight ever slighter

Dang it.

Nihilism changed me ever so slightly for the better.

And then I changed myself even more slightly.

No.

I changed myself for the better, immensely

Because of nihilism.

I recognized that my flaws and mistakes

Could be a part of something. Not really anything…special.

Per se.

But my line breaks and

All of my odd punctuation…

Could convey something

Other than an enormous epiphany. …

I want

 

I want to convey the process of creating art

In the art itself.

And by definition, that will make the art worse,

But It allows me to enjoy the process more.

And it allows my audience to connect more with me

 

When we tried to find our concentrations in art class,

I couldn't find mine.

My teacher sort of BS-ed one for me.

I think

Maybe he didn't. Maybe "engineering" is a legitimate concentration.

I don't know.

But I like the way my sketches look before I add depth

And color.

I like the rambley sort of way poetry sounds

Before I pick nice, rosey sorts of words.

 

And I want to convey the process of life

In my life itself.

And by definition, that will make the life worse,

But it allows me to enjoy the process more.

And it allows my audience to connect more with me.

 

P.S. I Used the backspace key to correct typos.

I'm sorry.