I asked him why he didn’t believe in love. I told him that sometimes, it makes it easier to convince ourselves that the existence of our fears is simply a figment of our imaginations. If you truly commit to believing hard enough, maybe all those fears will simply vanish. I fear not the event of death, but more the fact that one day I will stop living. Every fiber, every cell that made up who I used to be, from my personality, the way I processed information, my passive aggression, my witty mind, all encompassed in the hands of oblivion…masked, never to be foreseen by the human eye again. I will one day never flourish, never exchange my words, or touch another human, skin to skin.

Only my soul will ascend, only the outer shell, or inner I should say, of my once abundant existence. Whatever imprint I left upon the solid grounds is destitute, for never again shall I return into my original body form. I’ll miss those little things. Pain, adrenaline, regret…sin… the feelings that come along with the price of being human. But maybe humanity isn’t such a terrible thing after all. I’ll miss the struggle of fighting between what’s right and wrong, and trying to change the world, convincing others of my views.

Soon it will all be too late. I better hurry the hell up. Let’s say that I live for a hundred years. It’s really an unfathomable thought when put into perspective… terrifying really, to think that my mere existence will last an eternity, but only a small portion of time will be that of when I lived as a human: alive, and earthly. In the domain of everlasting life, that portion of time in which I lived on earth will only grow exceedingly more miniscule in contrast, until it is barely visible any longer.

But let’s say I do something extraordinary with that time of mine here on earth. Let’s imagine that I’m like Anne Frank, and all those diary entries and words of mine will be recovered years later…inspirational for generations and generations to come. What if I make a speech like Martin Luther King Jr., and I change the world forever? What if I spark a legacy that will ignite the lives of the present, and encourage the lives of the future? And then again, what if I do none of those things? Maybe. Or maybe the mark I leave on this earth, no matter how seemingly diminutive will be remarkably changing and rewarding once my soul is eternally bound.

Perhaps time will bend in heaven. Perhaps, my mere perception cannot even begin to fathom the complexity of its nature. No matter what, the human interactions in which I partake have to have made an impact on some sort of being on this plentiful earth, and that my friends, is forever, everlastingly, and eternal.

“But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.”

-Romans 7:6