To Reap A Seed

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There was never a time, never a place
Never a moment that was not erased.
I try, I forget, I remember again
And you’ve told me this memory is not a friend
What memory is this, I need to forget?
It is my childhood, I can never repent.

You tell me to grow up and change my act
But you don’t know, my trying lacks
I’m trying to grow up, I’m trying to stand tall
But the childish me, won’t leave at all!
Will you laugh at me, the clown?
Will you watch me while I frown?
Are you really my close friend
For wanting my fiction to end?

I remember, remember, and remember today
The days that used to be yesterday
I was foolish, stupid, senseless, not smart
I was a nuisance from my very heart.
It’s embarrassing, it’s ungraceful, it’s not like you
I fear and fear, maturity has become taboo.

Like a new candle failing to ignite
My consciousness, my mind, will never be right
And like a new toy I’ll throw myself away
Then with shiny, useless parts I hope I’m okay.
But when I close my eyes counting from one to three,
I realized what I did, what I am, is plain absurdity.

Did you call me mad? Did you call me insane?
I’m falling to pieces, shouting in vain
Insanity? Child-like? Is there a difference at all?
Crazy? Energetic? Please answer my call!
Mature? Right now? Don’t say it to my face!
Tell me what it means, to grow up in the first place!

You told me my skills were nonexistent, you told me I wasn’t right.
You told me to let go of immaturity, I swore you picked a fight.
You were the one who inspires me to succeed
Yet, you were the one to reap a seed.
You said to forget my loving childhood
But was it really for my very good?

A book I found is a falling star
That came to me from up a far
It taught, it gave, it made me smile
I found myself reading, for quite awhile
It told me to have fun and live like a child
But to respect others, and act so mild

I read, I think, then I conceived
The answer to help me achieve!
I may be a child, I may be a fool
But I won’t follow your stupid rule!
I’ll reminisce the memories and won’t forget
While ignoring your malicious, little threats
I’m clumsy, awkward, and shameful no less
But I know these traits cause me no stress.

I will grow up and remember my past
My imagination will certainly last
These memories that I will never let go
Will forever be set in stone.

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