Resisting Change and Breathing In Heartbreak

She felt numb
the kind where the pain was distant but she could feel it vibrating against her own bubble in isolation
Like a meditation
where you're so still your insides begin to shake.
The thought of him interrupted her state of mind for 5 hours straight
Love and it's growing pain made her ache
she felt as though all her limbs had broken beneath her perfectly enclosed skin.
Her mind retraced its steps back into 2010
where the great memory of them stood in its place waiting to be reminisced
like a beautiful lullaby to sleep
But then reality grew tired of watching
so it barged in through the doors of her imagination
and she shook so much
she felt forced to hold her palm against her heating head
as though her brain had created an earthquake.
The room was cold but these lingering thoughts gave her goosebumps.
Her heart shook,
its beat raced its quickest race
tears rolled down her cheeks in victory of sorrow.
"Nothing hurts quite as exquisitely as loving someone who doesn’t love you back."
the quote repeated from ear to ear like a broken record you'd hope would work
She envisioned all the vulnerable words she'd want to say to him
and as her eyes closed restless
she could feel his careless nature as though it were a premonition.
She hated predictable people
but for some reason she found comfort in his routine.
She rolled her eyes and the headache began to pound a little less by her temples.
Love had always been a craving for her,
to fall for somebody
yet feel the pain because she had this beautiful idea of love being a beautiful thing
but she had fallen deep into a dark pit
because Karma had its way
of sticking to its saying
being careful what you wish for.
The pain had struck immensely
and the love was certainly there
But what's worse than being in love with somebody who doesn't love you back?
Some reasons stuck beneath her eyelids
weighing down in drowsiness
and she still didn't want to go to sleep.
She knew loving him would be a bad thing
but her stubborn heart thought maybe he'd love her too.
These questions overpowered her
as the reasons hide in between her veins
her blood becomes thicker
her visions go blurrier
as each day Love creates a being out of her.
But the fluctuating energies debate between her bones 

whether or not she will become a good outcome
is up to her cherishing change.

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