Revoked

Music and poetry helps my sanity and I cannot spend all of my time with people continuously because people do not seem to really understand me and there is not a bother or a dare to care about the rare thoughts that seep into my mind through out the day that just causes my mind to go astray out into some kind of space that is no longer in the place that I am in at this moment. I mean I am here physically but mentally- you lost me. 

Help me understand why is it that I can treat someone how I expect to be treated but in return get the shit someone else has done in order for this to run into me? I just cannot stand to think that anyone would cause any type of pain in my life other than the rain becasue I truly feel pain. Oh when the rain drops I begin to think the most and if the sun is ghost, with nothing exposed, just darkness to seek and no one to speak to or maybe even sleep... To cuddle with I mean. Because the last thing I need is an irresponsible little boy to ruin my life over three seconds of joy. The lust that does annoy the last inch of my guts because lust is just love with a heart that is a toy. 

I seem ruthless to people because I show no emotion at times. But on the inside, the inside is on fire even if it is not of my desire of why I feel so much hurt. Can you tell I am hurting? I wonder this every time I try not to show my pain because I do not need anyone to know I am hurting. Do my eyes show pain? If so, you shall how much it takes to be me. To keep my sanity around human beings that always thought my grass was green. 

Green or blue, I have no clue why it is so hard to just be you. You as in yourself, not how the others do, when others come around they pull a switcharoo. When you realize how people are, you begin to appriciate your solitude although as rude as people may perceive you and your life, it is on you. 

Your filter has been revoked.

This poem is about: 
Me
My country
Our world

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