I don’t enjoy the phrase cry me a river

Due to the fact that I’ve cried

Oceans over the mistakes

Of my own judgment

 

I’ve seen friends and family

Distance themselves away from me

They tell me it’s to protect me

From hurting me

Or myself going out of the way to harm

My own consciousness

 

Only to realize that we

Both are wrong

They’re protecting themselves

 

I’ve learned in this dreaded game of

Villainy and Heroes

That I’m the antagonist

I’m the death reaper

The evil robot coming to destroy the Earth

 

I harm people with my kindness

And when I take it away from them

They’re left worse than I

Not just a belittling scratch

Or bruise

But a ridiculing scar that is proof

Of the pain, they’ve endured through their adolescent age

 

I think of events as if they’ve happened

To me in the third person

I’m almost always trying to commentate

On my past with little messages like

“Oh no,” or “look out!”

 

Maybe a foreshadowing has occurred

I’d say something like

“I knew it,” or “Called it!”

It’s worse when things happen to me

I don’t act on it

Believe me, I do overthink about it

A lot

 

I’m the type of person that

Worries about the future

On the opposite of the present because

I don’t want bad things to happen to me

However,

Almost as if the universe had cursed me

I ruin my own future by worrying so much

It’s my fault for my actions

I can’t blame anyone else

And there’s no way for me not to cry

That same person an ocean.