*Inspired by JeanAnn Verlee

1) I'm sorry I yelled at you that day in the car. I'm sorry I made you feel like your daughter was more like a stranger that lived in your house, I never meant for it to be like this. I'm sorry that it took us 11 years to caulk the cracks in our foundation but at least we're here now. And I'm sorry for always being so angry. I love you. I'm sorry I fucked up.

2) I'm sorry I'm fucked up.

3) You didn't have to drag yourself into this mess, but thank you for doing it anyway. I'm sorry for asking you for help. I'm sorry I didn't just go to my mom but when you're caught between a rock and a hard place it's hard to see anything but shades of black because being sixteen and sexually active is the worst combination because the lines between lust and love are too often blurred together into one paint canvas of bad life choices and boys who I pressed lips to wrists but don't remember their names. 

4) I think I'll always feel so guilty for costing you your job. If I had known, you'd been a casualty in my misfire I would've fixed it, healed you up and sent you home but I'm sorry I couldn't and can't help you get your life back together. To be honest, I can't even fix mine. I'm sorry I'm just now seeing your battle scar.

5) Your son is beautiful. He looks so much like you. I'm sorry I still love you. I'm sorry you loved me so hard all I could focus on was the amount of pressure that probably formed the diamond on the ring you gave me. I'm sorry I was so taken with the sparks of our friction I didn't notice the house caught fire. I'm sorry I made you do this alone I'm sorry we can't talk about this i wish we could just fucking talk about this and I'd apologize more but you won't even respond to my facebook requests

6) I'm still sorry I called you bad parents. I want to be home now more than ever. But the things you hear about me range between 'That girl is such a problem' and 'That girl has so many fucking problems' So see letters 1 and 2. 

7) I'm sorry for being unapologetic but you don't deserve my apologies, to be quite honest the only reason you made this list is more out of pitty than actual kindness because I'm sorry that I can't be sorry towards someone that doesn't have the guts to tell her he doesn't want her anymore and yeah, the truth hurts, but it wouldn't be so bad if you'd just admit you're a coward and that you're sorry. 

8) I'm sorry I wasn't there enough. I'm sorry I called you a bad friend and I'm sorry I didn't say I love you enough. I wish I could say it now

9) I'm sorry she left you. 

10) I'm sorry I left you, but between the bruises you left and 3 AM phone calls, I decided that I love you, I do. But I love me too. And despite everything you ever screamed at me, and made me feel sorry for and made me feel ashamed of, I swam my way to the horizon and found out, I've got nothing left to apologize for.