Sadness is Fake

This morning I looked up in the skies

Past the prickly trees

Their green arms a border for the clouds

And blue skies.

The world is so big,

Sometimes I can scarcely imagine

The difference that I can make

that I can make

In a place which is part of a larger thing

A piece of that which is a growing puzzle.

 

This morning I looked down at the ground

Past the blanket of spider webs

into the wet soil.

Beyond this floor are thousands of other floors

And beyond this spot are millions of

Other lives.

There is more to this than me.

There is more to me to me than I can know.

 

I used to think that sadness was fake

That the tears in our eyes - the tears in our eyes - could be jammed

With positive thoughts

That the tears running down our cheeks - running down our cheeks - down our cheeks - our cheeks

Could be buried within the confines of our emotions

           

            Our being

            Who we are.

 

I used to think that I could do it all on my own.

I used to think that I could make myself – that I could make myself -

Be happy.

I was buried deep.

I didn’t see the sun even if it was there

I didn’t see the sun even if it was there

And the dark clouds mimicked

The waters of my soul.

 

I used to think that I could make myself

Be happy.

 

I worry - The sunsets in my past, the days

That I have wasted because I could not –

I would not –

I could not -

See the sun.

 

            Are they me?

 

Now I see

That the tears in my eyes are a strength to me

that the tears on my cheeks

can fall on this floor – fall on this – fall on – fall- and nourish my

soul.

Now I see that because of you – because of you -

I can truly be me.

I am the sun and the sun is in me.

I am these roots and these branches

And the skies above my soul,

Yet I’m more than this sunset

And more than this sunrise

More than I could truly ever know.

More than I could truly ever know.

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