Saudade
Location
I am the keeper of nice words
I hear the anxiety in the simple question
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
My hands are the first to be held by him
Palms sweaty, but his grip is strong
My eyes are the first to read the love note he passes
With simple verses but nonetheless making me smile
My ears are the first to hear him say “I love you”
And when he says it he’s scared and nervous
Because he doesn’t know if that is what he actually means
But it describes how he feels for me right now
And that’s all he needs to say those three rushed words
That’s all he needs to know that maybe, there is hope for us
My lips are the first to kiss him
And though his lips are chapped and it doesn’t last but a moment
That doesn’t stop my heart from leaping out of the spot in its chest
Where it’s been caged for so long because maybe I have forgotten
A few things about love but dammit this feeling is something
That not even I can forget, even if I tried
My heart, is the first to break, because
“Maybe we should see other people” just might be the harshest
Six words ever uttered to me from someone who looks so defenseless
And though it didn’t last long it felt real and I believed in him
My tears were the first to fall for this boy
And as they fell I watched as he walked away and with him took
What didn’t belong to him
And though I wasn’t sure I was sad I continued to cry
Because that’s what I was taught to do when you didn’t understand
I was the keeper of his nice words and while at the time that he spoke them
I didn’t realize how much they would hurt later
I wasn’t told that when someone tells you they love you that it’s not a promise
That when you look at someone and your heart attempts to escape the cage it calls home
It doesn’t mean their heart is trying to reach yours
I didn’t know that something as simple as color and size would ruin something
That had meant so much to me
I wasn’t told of these things
I wasn’t told that love may come in different shapes and sizes
But it didn’t have to be accepted
There was no lesson that told me that sometimes
Superficial details were more important to the whole story
I wasn’t told that cherishing someone
Didn’t mean that they had to stay