Scars

Location

My Hometown
1218 N CR 300 E Danville, IN
United States
29° 50' 19.968" N, 89° 45' 22.0104" W

 He used to tell me that I wasn't good enough. He used to hurt me, but on the outside I just played along. I never looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. I put scars on my skin, like he etched on my heart. He made me believe that he was the best I could get. He never let me out on my own, I always second guessed. I screamed so loud in my head, he made me want to die, escape his fist on my head. Where did the time go? Where did I go? Stare down my reflection, and I don't know this me. For the first time, I drowned in my own lies, I'm not ready. Who am I to say it's my time to say goodbye? I've still got things to do before I die. I've got a lot to learn; about love, life, experiances. My past just makes it that much harder to move past all that I have gone through to really understand what I can learn. Yes, I was in an abusive relationship for three years. I was a silly doe-eyed school girl with a compassionate heart that wanted to be loved more than anything in the world. My schoolwork failed and I lost a lot of friends. I turned to self-harm to take out the anger that was always pointed toward me. I attempted suicide a few times. They weren't always very severe, but they were intended, which scared my parents to the point that I stayed in a Stress Center in Indianapolis for a week.The cutting had stopped for a bit, but then he targeted my weight. So, naturally I developed anorexia and bulimea. Once he let me go, I fell deeper in myself. Angry that I had let myself get this screwed up, let my future truly fall through my hands. Everyone has their scars. Some are deeper than others. Some are merely just metaphorical. But they are there, living in each one of us. We as a society scar together, even though we cause most of the scars ourselves. I am a survivor of my own mind. It's been a long road, and I'm not finished yet. Treat yourself to looking in the mirror every day and tell yourself "You're Beautiful" and "You are enough". Let's face it, because you are. Don't let anyone dull your sparkle, that's the best therapy. To love yourself first. 

Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

savigirl14

I'm so glad you got out of that relationship. I don't know you but I'm sure your a beautiful person and you don't deserve to be treated badly. Please read my poems and tell me what you think

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