I held your gaze—
Transfixed by you—
Because in your eyes I saw a sea—
And I was engulfed by your waves.
Those clear sea foam orbs,
Like the nebulae in our universe,
Grasped my heart and mind,
And I, the scientist that I am,
Cannot help but lose myself
In your vast unknown.
Because if you are the universe,
Then I am a wanderer
In search of words to fill this verse
In hopes that it will reach you.
If words can transcend time and space,
Then mine would reach out to you,
Touch your lips and caress your face
And mend this heart that was broken in two.
I am a scientist—a futurist—
Who looks to the future for answers,
But cannot help replaying the past
Because when I face reality,
Memories of you are fading fast.
I think in theories
And live in experiments,
But I am too afraid of the results—
Of the numbers of my uncertainties.
I see in graphs and listen in numbers,
But within this time machine of mine,
Built by memories and dreams,
I see your eyes and hear your voice,
As Time flows in her streams.
I am a scientist—the master of what-if.
I hypothesize and theorize and philosophize
Each step of this endless dance,
While I scour the past for my lost chance.
I am a scientist—the mathematician
Of love and despair,
Who wants to solve the equation of life,
But the variables are never there.
I am a scientist—someone who craves truth.
My curiosity obscures my fears
And on I go, step after step
as days bloom into years.
In the study of this universe,
The farther I look in the past,
The closer I am to the beginning,
Where the answers lie—
Where the clocks stop—
And where the ghost of you will die.