if i can be sure of one thing
it's that I'm not sure of anything at all.
who truly is sure,
where they will go,
who they will love,
who they will BECOME.
you know, i used to think i knew myself well but the more i learn the less i know
and the less i know the more i forget
what it is EXACTLY that makes me,
it isn't my legs or my arms or the texture of my hair
or my voice or my eyes or the color of my skin.
humans have been trying to define themselves since the day they set foot on this earth
what makes us who we are?
on cold lonely january nights i could tell you that i am nothing more
than the ski race i fell in
than the ice that juts out from the overhang above my porch
than the wind that cuts through no matter how many layers i have on
and slices through my heart like a steak knife gliding through butter
leaving me broken
i. feel. broken.
like somehow i will never be whole
like the pieces left behind are part of some sadistic puzzle
where they don't fit together quite right.
when are we most ourselves?
is it when we're pouring poison down our throat till our vision is as blurry as our feelings
praying to a God we only half believe in
pushing our own selves down the dark stairwell of emotion
in hopes that someone will notice the bruises
notice the blank stare
i am not my defeat.
i am not my destruction.
i am not the deeply lodged blades we call words that were thrust deep into my ribcage
i am not the bitter cold that chills every cell of my body and turns my veins icy with sorrow
i am not the way i feel alone in bed yearning for love.
i am more than despair.
i am where my love lies
i am the lyrics of my favorite songs and the melodies they are wrapped up in
i am the sound my camera makes when i click the shutter
i am 11:11 kisses with the one i love
i am my hopes and dreams
i am me.
i used to yearn to be unique
what i didn't know is we are all special in our own ways
You Can't Tell Me,
that if you took a trip into someone else's mind you wouldn't find something magical
that if you took the time to study a person you wouldn't fall in love with the way they write
that if you took a moment to take a look at yourself that you wouldn't see the same.
you are a perfect sum of the individual parts of your persona
you are a cosmic compilation of everything that is brilliant about life
have you ever thought how lovely each of your individual parts come together to make a whole being
have you ever thought about the fact that you are made up of the same materials as the stars
we are all energy
we. are. stardust.
beautifully crafted into our own originality
a splatter painting of emotions
with different loves
different things that make us unique
we are not our darkest days.
we are not the cold we often feel.
we are more than that.
we are our hobbies and the way our face lights up when recalling a childhood memory
we are the connections we build with the people we love
we are what makes us smile
we are the sun
and everything between.
you are perfectly you
and i'm unapologetically me