Senior Year

I'm about to graduate from high school and this year went by extremely fast

Junior year I had a plan about where I was going to college and summer plans

How I wanted to be more social and join the track team

Then senior year started and I chickened out

i was too scared because I didn't know if people would accept me

Also I have a hard time believing in myself; I never feel like I'm good enough

And talking to people just makes me nervous

i mean I have friends now that are the opposite of me

i hate that they are so outgoing while I am so shy

i love the confidence that they have in themselves

i didn't join the track team because of the lack of self confidence

When I was young I wanted be a track star like my parents

You know live in thier footsteps and make them proud

But when I finally got on a team there were so many people better than me

And suddenly I didn't want to do it anymore I guess it's low self esteem

Now I don't even know where I'm going to college

i had one school in mind the Culinary Institute of America

It was my dream school; the only place where I felt at home and I can't even go

i do the same thing everyday go to school and come home

i don't hang out with anyone just watch tv

In fact going to school is the only time I feel happy

i love going to vocational school and seeing all my friends

When I have to go back to regular school is when I feel depressed

The only class I like is my gym class because it's not like ordinary gym

It forces me to get out of my comfort zone and trust my classmates

i feel like I have made a second family even though I still don't talk a lot

My teacher is pretty cool also; he gets too watch us grow and trust each other

I've noticed that it's easier for me to talk to teachers than to students

i don't know I guess it's because I feel like they are not judging me

Anyways senior year didn't turn out how I planned

But I guess it was okay

After all that's all I can ask for right?

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741