Shambles

 

I know what it’s like to fall in love and this is not it

i used to have foggy glasses
and titchy skin that wrinkled in all the right spots
and a burdensome nose and a wacky smile cocked to the side with thin lips

I’ve tripped and stubbed toes, been bit on the nose by love and this is not it
I have counted down days yes I’ve waited for love and this is not it
tell me I’m blind
tell me be kind to yourself it will come
tell me to be quiet, there are things far more troubling
tell me be still.
cuz I’ve called off my dogs that stand watch on your yard
I’ve told all the cavalry stand down men
oh!

i used to have them over my eyes and it was kinder on my heart
i used to have a soiled heart but the dust made it homey

i swept it but it begged to remain in shambles
I’ve seen the tide wash up subside and turn back towards the sea
I’ve watched as the sun climbs and falls for your days to pass
I’ve stood under the same roof of stars as your ignorant head
please catch a drift for me if it happens to be contagious
a ride in a wood stacked backseat
a cigarette on Valentine’s Day
a meal eaten across from one another

i used to have shaky hands and they gripped at you fingers they clung to your eyes brows and ripped at your hip bones
there were dirty fingernails i bit off and chewed up but the extra protein was too much
too much extra protein

I’ll tell you be still
because I’ve felt the loss and I’ve broken at the bone
sunk miles into the earth yes
I’ve teased at the skin with the blade of loves knife and
this is not it

i used to be uncomfortable and now the planet is my living room
the room i live in the space i keep
i swept it but it begged to remain in shambles

This poem is about: 
Me

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