1 year

12 months

366 days

Every path was altered

Every fiber of skin was touched differently

Every word rolled off my teeth differently

Especially one

“Myself”

 

January was met with warm smiles

I spent my days and nights writing like I was running out of time

I listened to songs that sounded like war cries

My sour facial expression disappeared

The sky looked crystal clear and

For the first time in a while

I felt optimistic for what was to come

 

February made my heart sink

Staying up each night past 1 A.M.

Growing the calluses on my fingers

Reading assignment after assignment

There was no time to take a break

It would only waste the time I had yet to remake

Headaches never seemed to cause me pain  

I would only wait for a better day

 

March never failed to make me laugh

The 18th came and I became sixteen

I laughed and I cried

I discovered it's all right to not fake a smile

It's alright to cry when the moment is right

It's okay to feel out of place

Sometimes it's nice to remind yourself that it'll be alright.

 

April brought more than showers

A month away from bright and warmer days

The books never seemed to go away

I managed to find a way to escape

Writing words that could dig skin deep

Accompanied by a melody that sounded like a drumbeat

It was only the beginning

 

May has never felt so alive

He entered my life

Played me the Dark Side of The Moon

Told me his favorite song was Track 2

And asked me if I would listen to it soon

I pressed play

The past began to erase

 

June left faster than you could say “Hi”

Set to travel to new places with new faces

My grasp tight on the things I knew

I was not made to leave the things I know

But the need to show how much I’ve grown since then

Meant more than you could ever know

I packed memories, just in case I missed the things I knew

 

July brought friends along on the ride

Foreign smiles but kinder than I imagined

Storytelling until we laughed and cried

Laughing the days away with each joke made

Each day made me forget the old days

Where I kept to myself and full of doubts

Maybe I did not lie to myself that first month

Brighter beginnings did arrive

 

August was time to for a bittersweet goodbye

The last grain of salt was about to drop

Distance won and I did nothing to make it stop  
I’ll just keep on saying

They’ll be gone sooner or later

I’ll just keep hoping

They found someone better

I’ll just keep pretending

We forgot about each other

 

September did not feel all right

People faded into thin air  
Despite our disputes and glares
I missed the moments we shared

Pointing fingers towards the wrong direction

In hopes the story would reach its end

Page after page

It was never put to rest

 

October was full of nights in cheap arcades

Days and nights consisted of laughter  
No matter where we went
We treated it like our last
Money never seemed to be an issue

You can’t put a price on what we have

Girls wanting to have fun without a cost

November told me to trust myself because it’ll be okay

I realized certain things were meant to be

I realized certain people we were meant to meet

There is no in between

There will be a knock on the door
A “hello” will be said
You’ll realize that past the grey skies
They would always remain by your side

 

December taught me that I was not who I once was

A girl with pin-straight hair discovered the comfort of curls
Singing until her voice was gone and playing until her fingers were raw
Learning to love her past life
Despite the flaws that kept her trapped

She overcame it all
She changed