No one would really expect the loud girl with the strange giggle and big smile could be hurting like this

Could be wanting to cut into the bare skin that taunts her to do it

Screams and begs for her to let it all out

They couldn't imagine her self hate, dying wish

20 years for nothing

because she was raised in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people

She wants to slit her wrists and bleed out, handful of pills down her throat. She wants someone to care because it feels like nobody does. And instead of being numb, she's just sad

She's so fucking sad

And she's in so much pain that never ends. It's always there

And when she says she wants to kill herself. She means it, so very bad. But because it comes off her tongue so easily, no one takes it seriously.

No one would ever take her seriously, but she's use to that

She's used to being nothing important, so use to being pushed aside

She's used to not being looked at twice, no words from others saying she's pretty or cool or anything good

She is just the bad, she's the negative and she's hurting

And it is all so painful

Living is painful

And she's mad at the world

And she's mad at her parents

And she's mad at herself

But really, that anger is just deep sadness. She's so sad

And it never ends

She asks, but it never does. Because nothing can ever go right, she can't do anything right. She fucks everything right and good just by breathing air. 

She didn't ask to live, she didn't ask for the pain.

She was brought into the world through unfortunate circumstances that will forever scar her heart and soul.

But no one would ever suspect anything wrong.

But no one would ever suspect anything wrong.

With the loud girl who has a strange laugh and big smile