Silence is not Quiet- Not Anymore

Before,

when I entered a quiet room,

there would be nothing for me to hear.

 

When I would reach the end

of my favorite song

the words of the lyric would stop

and a crisp pause between the tracks

would elapse, during which I would

enjoy a pleasant solitude for my eardrums.

That was silence.

 

When my parents would leave for an evening

and my brother was away at school,

I would hear the door close,

Sit down by the fireplace

And embrace undisturbed silence.

 

The school day would end

I would box my way through

Hoards of student

Fighting and flailing

Thirsty for the silence

That waited for me

In the quiet of my car.

 

But silence is not quiet-

not anymore.

Since I first tasted your lips,

the air around my ears has quaked;

my eardrums bleed

with the sounds

of air conditioning systems

and dropped pins.

 

I am awake, and every sound

beyond the silent truth

of how I feel for you

is amplified only by my knowing

what it means to hear nothing

and know everything.

 

And my life is more silent than ever.

Like a spike driven in to the heart

of the mightiest beast

at sundown

my heart cannot move from where it was

on the day that we met.

No gunshots,

no fireworks,

no car alarms,

can shake the silence that lives in me

now that I am yours.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741