Sing About Me 2 (inspired by Kendrick Lamar)

Oh when the lights shut off And it's my turn To settle down My main concern Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about me  I said when the lights shut off  And it's my turn  to settle down My main concern  Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about     I just got back home and I'm calling in case I'm not here tomorrow. Hope I can borrow some peace of mind before I hang up the line and throw in the towel begging for your forgiveness. And this is my final outreach cuz I don't know if I can take it cuz I've been pondering existence and thinking bout things. But no matter how much I'd like to dream I'm still a fiend to the past and the regrets that cling. Believe me I'd like to let them go but I've felt broken since the day that depression broke in and left cryin and dyin inside. It just pushed peaceful aside and I know if I died things would be better so I punish myself pursuin pain to drive me to ruin. As the bands become bonds...don't put me in your songs cuz I would rather you not think of me its better for you that way and I'm crying wishing I could go away so believe me when I say...I'm sorry for screwing everything up breaking your trust and pushing up some pain. Just look at me with disdain i don't know why you're still here look at myself in the mirror and wish I could disappear. So just know that if you wanna rap about me don't make me hear who cares how l appear when inside a razor blade feels like going from ear to ear. So just ignore me like everyone else set me aside on your hearts shelf stop hurting yourself cuz I'm not gonna be able to stay long anyway cuz self harm and suicide are doing everything to take me away take me away take me away praying for brighter days but still feeling so enslaved I hope that just one time the happiness will stay. What happiness you ask well I wish I knew I've been going through life hoping that when I make it you... Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about me  I said when the lights shut off  And it's my turn  To settle down  My main concern Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about me    I knew some day this would happen so I might as well just open up. I guess my biggest problem all this time is that never had trust. Oh and the fact I've been fighting an internal war but had to assure the other peoples problems including yours. And I never really wanted others to worry so I've hidden my story when I know there's nothing for me to look forward to but still I stress about the future I gotta put in these grades so I can stay where the business execs recruit ya. Even though I know that dream job and dream car won't really help all the work works as a distraction to keep me from killing myself. You see all these years I've worn a mask to go through every day trying to hide a painful past. But you have no right to judge me until you know what it's like to live in a one parent home with a two faced life and to internalize to the point of suffering simply to keep all your loved ones from worrying. Cuz I know you already got so much on your plate. The stress of child life high school and your fate will be the same as mine just give it time I'll be fine because I'm strong don't need any help I can conquer this on my own. You know I'm strong enough I'm more than good enough and even tho it's tough I'm never truly stuck ignorance is bliss and so much better than this and ignoring my problems is....*fade out*   Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about me  I said when the lights turn off  And it's my turn  To settle down  My main concern  Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about me    As I look in the mirror I ask myself if I died today could my soul live with itself cuz no matter how hard I try there's really no way I can help all these hurting and broken cuz I myself feel hopeless and I wonder if one day this will all be worth it. The struggle to keep my muzzle has me sitting in fear as I guzzle my tears. Yes I'm crying again and ain't to proud to admit it but I'm  having a hard time knowing when this'll finish. And truly all of my tears are for no reason cuz really I'm just selfish offending God with my treason wish I could believe in something higher but lately the desire to pray has been floating away no matter how much I do it anyway. How can I help my loved ones when I have no self control even tho I've been released on parole I'm feeling sins patrol and I just am really praying I can escape this sadness and this madness and accomplish something great. Even tho I might say that it's for the Lord a small part of me still knows I want something more. And even tho I know I shouldn't be so focused on getting my own but I know a huge part me hopes you remember when I'm gone. But am I worth it...will I ever deserve it Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you will sing about me  Promise that you'll sing about me forever  Promise that you'll sing about about me for... ooooooo  Promise that you'll sing about me forever  Promise that you'll sing about me for... ooooooo         

This poem is about: 
Me
My community

Comments

Soliloquy

My apologies for the poor formatting the website keeps deleting all of my line breaks upon submission 

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