Social Anxiety

When walking, Whether it be down the hallways, Down the street, Or down the shiver-inducing grocery store aisle As long as another mammal, a primate, specifically, of the family Hominidae The only extant species of the genus Homo Is in the same vicinity, awkwardness ensues. A slew of internal struggles: Do I avoid eye contact? Stare at the ground, the space past their eyes or some imaginary, infinitely interesting, attention engrossing, non-existent thing off into the distance. Do I give a small smile, an acknowledgement of another’s existence? Or would that be seen as sinister, Creepy, Flirtatious? Don’t even get me started on interacting with others. Topics of discussion in my arsenal of tools to avoid awkward silences: The weather The product of the tilt of the Earth’s axis is the one thing everyone has in common. One guaranteed human experience. The talking itself is a whole other conundrum Eye contact? Too much or too little Can convey too much or too little interest. Suddenly, I am hyper aware of my stance What to do with these bothersome, annoying appendages? Stand up straight! Stop fiddling with your hair. Mind races to follow up with something intelligible, Something humorous, Something witty, Quick! And throughout all of the scramble To grasp something, anything floating around In the scattered mind, All that has been processing Are noises. Sounds Vibrations in the air Traveling through the ear canal, Striking the eardrums Ossicles, cochlea, hair cells. Unfortunately, that’s where the journey ends for these vibrations. Such is the life of the socially awkward.