I'm tired. Stressed. Overwhelmed.

The future is banging on my door,

and I'm scared because I don't even know what it looks like.

I don't know what to expect, and I don't want to open it and see.

It terrifies me.

I can't even decide what I want it to be.

What if it is ugly and miserable?

I don't want to know.

I want to stay in the dark.

 

What am I to do?

Am I to leave it to mystery?

I could ignore it and go on my merry way.

Do what I want in the here and now.

But shouln't I plan?

Shouldn't I have a goal?

"You can be whatever you want, Sweetheart."

But what do I want?

The uncertainty is swallowing me whole.

 

Now is the time to grow up.

Adulthood has shoved its way in.

Gameboys replaced with textbooks.

Classrooms replaced with lecture halls.

Everything is new.

Everything is bigger.

Everything is better.

Or so they say.

I am not so sure.

 

I miss the days free of worry.

Back when life was so simple.

Growing up scares me. Makes me sad.

Gone are the days when a bad day could be fixed with ice cream.

When a decision could not be held against you.

Summers were free to explore the world.

No obligations. No responsibilities.

But my time has come. I am no longer free.

I am an adult.