SOUR MILK
I hold my breath as I watch the seconds on the clock tick.
The short hand is working but the long hand is stuck,
Like me.
Waiting for my date to show up
A Blind date
A couple of messages here and there.
I ask myself, “What am I doing here”
I am never this reckless
It’s 8:55 seemingly forever.
What if he doesn’t show up, what if he does
He sees me and turns around
Maybe I am not what he wanted
You ask what my fear is, so causally coined
On a first date
Within a game of 20 questions.
And questions deserve answers
As answers demand more questions
And I guess I am questioning if I’ll ever fall in love
Or better yet, if someone will love me
I am fearful and quiet as I see a glance across the room
Or a silly DM hidden away.
I do not look at them
Or you.
I am afraid of getting hurt
Left, again.
And all of these things twist in turn in my stomach
Like sour milk left out too long on summer day
That is when It happened
One summer day, I told you I didn’t love you
I lied
We said our goodbyes
And now, years later
I am on a date
Waiting, it’s 8:58
And I decide to go home.
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