How I achieved sprezzatura; The art of being flawless without visible effort.

i. Say thank you.

I do not know when or where I learned to counter compliments like strikes, with a no, the end drawn out, as if to soften the blow. But now I accept that other people find me beautiful; in mind, soul, body. My beauty transcends what others think of me, but it is nice to hear it once in a while, and even nicer to hear my own voice say, “Thank you.” I don’t have to love myself completely before I let other people love me too.

ii. See fragments.

I understand flowers in shapes and colors and smells, and understand that changing one piece makes something completely new and different and the bees love them anyways. I look at storms and know their brute power makes them no less beautiful, and still makes everything smell like rain. Van Goghs and O’Keeffes and Monets are nothing but lines and colors and hard work and we call them masterpieces. Even this poem is just words, but they are my words, and I love them for it.

iii. Love the ugly.

I find joy in squashed faced dogs and hairless, wrinkly cats. I wear my ugliest shirt and am proud of it, and if someone calls it such, I grin wickedly and say, “I know, isn’t it great?” I appreciate lemons for how sweet they make everything else tastes.  Remember, some people drink coffee black and love it more than honey. Even bitter, people will give their hearts to me. Even on my bad days, I get “I love you” texts and hugs and care, and I deserve it.

iv. Unlearn what other people think.

If they call me ugly, it does not matter. If they call me vapid, it does not matter. If they call me beautiful, it does not matter. What they call me does not change me. Some people will not love me, no matter what I do, and some people will love me only when they want, and some will love me forever. That is just life. It is not my fault. I am what I am. Deities don’t die when they lose a believer,

v. Don't fear change.

If I want to change it, make a plan. If I don’t want to change it, be proud of it. If I cannot change it, accept it. This can apply to anything I wish. I learned to love the pieces of me I could not destroy, because they are a part of me as much as my carefully cultivated self. I will not dig up my fields to remove a few stones.

Sprezzatura; not the act of being effortlessly flawless, but the act of realizing I always was.