Stare Into Me

Wed, 09/03/2014 - 00:16 -- rasen58

At school, on the streets, in public

You see a smile on my face as I enjoy the world

I love seeing my friends, and family

I love meeting the people who I've never met before

To share our experiences, our journeys, our everything

 

Then I get home with such joy, then fear, then loneliness

What the hell am I doing, I am worthless, a nobody

I haven't been able to do anything right

And no matter the people I smile at, day after day after day,

Like the burning sun becomes moon, they turn their backs the minute I leave

 

"Oh, you're such a nice person"- say my friends

"Can you help me with this?" - say the strangers

"Oh why thank you, of course I'll help" - say I,

But that momentary feeling of worth is all just a lie

 

Barefoot, in the stream, swimming just trying to stand

The stream is a river, no a flood!

And that is what I think as I cry the nights away

"Oh sorry for staying up so late, mom and dad, just had lots of homework"

But no, that homework isn't worth a thing when I don't believe in doing what I mean

That homework is simply the work I expend, getting pushed down by that river

Night after night after night

 

Only in the darkness, of the rising sun,

Do I find some respite, the poems keep me company

As my eyes turn red, stay red, the poems stay true to me

I write for what I hope I have inside

 

I hope I have a bit of self-worth worth saving

I hope I have some potential worth exploiting

I hope I can be something, someday

And if not, I believe I'll have my poems all the way

And if not, I'll have the memories of those nights

 

Who do I write for?

Anyone who listens, but above all

Me. Myself. And I.

 

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