Growing up ain't as fun as you think
No one can prepare you for the
Zits, quips, stink of uncertainty
The fog that overtakes, blinds, defines you
Picks you up and clouds your judgment,
Carries you through phases,
Stages of tight black jeans, neon highlights,
Knife fights, thick eyeliner, shy remarks
Throws you down in bitter dusty defeat,
Where you eventually contemplate
What you've been doing as of late
And ask yourself,
WHAT was I thinking when I went out in public like that?
But you move on, spectrums shift,
Grow surer, ensure your fate amongst
Those you deem as your own,
All the while seeking refuge in
The sweet nectar of future's promise
Meanwhile enduring doubt, days misery-tinged, daily cataclysms
Rattling foundations already weakened
Until one day you're so broken
You find refuge in your own soul.
That's growing up,
Sewing up your new self
Finalizing, materializing, realizing
Who you are supposed to be, but
Growing up ain't as fun as you think.
New bones splinter through old skin,
Molting, it's revolting
Who some of you have become.
And no one told us
The decay we'd feel, the dismay we'd
No one mentioned
No one told me when you turn 18
You get a can of pepper spray and a ticket to the gynecologist.
No one told me that you have to decide
Who you're gonna be, gonna sleep with
Who you'll reject and subject to
Small pieces of your soul, loosening in evening lights.
But I still frequent playgrounds, swingsets,
Sunsets, soaring skyward,
Still somewhat childlike.
My vision is sharpened by adulthood but
That doesn't mean it can't be
Softened by shards of childhood
Because for now,
I can still catch them on my teenage tongue.