"still thinking about school" (a poetic chat message about college)

I'm still thinking about school......

 

I'm sorry.   I have to have it paid by Aug. 5th....   they sent me an email and instantly, i felt down   I want to go so badly.   I don't wanna have to be behind or not finish...   I worked too hard...   but what I owe is too much...   and Idk if i'll earn any scholarships in time....   im scared. 

 

He really wishes he could help...

 

i wanna see u.   so bad.   it hurts.   and i might not be able to.   i wont be able to see you or any one of our friends....   that. that hurts. i wont be able to finish what i started. that kills me.   dramatic? maybe.   but the truth. 

 

He's so hurt. I'm the one good thing that has happened to him at school.

He wants me to be close to him.

He doesn't know if he can focus on his work without me.

It's tearing him apart.

 

i dont know what to do....   im lost   ive worked   but only earned so much   i havent earned a scholarship...   if i cant go.   if i cant see you again.... 

 

No.

He's going to see me again.

Whether I go to school or not.

 

i wanna see u.......i wanna be able to see you every day.....i wanna be there......   i wanna hug and kiss you......   i wanna laugh with you.....   i wanna be with you....   i wanna see your face everyday....   it hurts.   it hurts so much.   its tearing me apart.   i feel if I dont see you soon   im going to have a mental breakdown   im stressed   im tired   im crying my eyes out simply typing these words   ive worked too hard........   i cant.   i just cant   i 

 

........

He doesn't know what to say.

Just.

He loves me.

He just.

He doesn't know.

........

He asks me about finding a cheaper school.

 

[][][][] is my dream school.   i love it there.   i made great friends.   i met you.   i really dont want to throw all of that away.....but....   you're right.   im broke.   im poor.   i have so little.   i wouldnt be able. my family wouldnt be able.   to pay and support.   life sucks. 

.......

He understands.

He just wants to help.

 

i appreciate it so much.   i gotta go.   ive been called in to work   talk to you later   bye 

 

Ok...

He loves me.

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741