Stop Crying

The salt burns my eyes

I've repeatedly told myself useless lies

I scream at myself, alone

There's no one else, because no one's home

"Stop crying! Stop crying!"

"Being this weak is embarrassing!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Stop crying it hurts!"

"Crying won't help, it won't fix or reverse!"

I claw at my head

My eyes are purpled, nose pomegranate red,

clutch my sides and scratch at my arms

what disgusting charms

I'm yelling and screaming

Shaking and writhing

No one's here to see me break down

No one's here to stare and frown

I can sputter and choke

And it's like I never spoke

This must look like a fit

If I ever had one this would be it

Depression bombards and stabs my brain

Yet I tell myself over and over again

"Stop crying! Just stop!"

"If you can't even do that then why don't you just drop?"

My worst critic is myself

I can't even trust my mental health

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