all this blood swishing in my veins

keeps me awake all night.

i don't want their assumptions about

the girl with the mark by her mouth

and the blossoms in her hair

and the pollen on her lips.

i am too tired to keep my head up

so as i sit there twirling your hair

in my hands with my head on your

shoulder and you ask me 'where

do you want to go?'

i can only ask you why

i would want to be anywhere else.

no, i don't want to be laying alone

in the dark anymore. i don't care

about being dependent

independent

masochistic

manic-depressive

labeled.

i just want to stand next to you

where i can smile again,

and feel it in my bones, my heart

and my soul.

i'm resting my head

on this headboard, knowing

i don't have to be alone.

while you're asleep, i wonder every night

'do you dream of me?'

and if you do i wonder if it mattered

that you couldn't pay the bills on a bartender's

salary and that no one in their right mind

would ever think of hiring me.

maybe it was just an excuse because

we were scared that we didn't know

if there was a 'for ever' or even a

'for a lifetime'. we were scared of

the future and we forgot the moments like this:

when you kissed me under the mistletoe

two minutes before christmas

because you couldn't wait

and i brought you outside on your first night

you put down a blanket for us to lay on

and we lost track of time counting stars

when your hand wraps around mine,

intertwining our fingers as you sleep

and you tell me to sleep too, but i don't

and you just smile and dream because it

may not be forever

but it's good enough.