Stuck

 

It was dark, by my eyes and by my mind.

I stared blankly forward,

trying to gather my bearings that were scattered beyond my sight.

My head felt two tons heavy and my arms felt two pounds light.

My thoughts were foggy and groggy.

I moved not a muscle.

I uttered not a word.

I felt nothing but the stricken buzz of fear.

What is not known is not to be trusted.

Don’t follow a stranger.

And definitely don’t follow a friend.

Lead the blind with unseeing eyes.

I heard a voice.

It was quiet yet stern.

Kind, yet commanding.

I wasn’t hearing words,

but simply the tone of the voice.

The continuous string of sound,

the constant humming of a familiar tune.

I tried to raise myself up to follow.  

My own advice couldn’t be heeded.

The embrace of the familiar was needed.

A taste of the way things were,

Before disaster occurred.

But my arms were weaker than my self-promises.

My head was too full.

Full of regret and full of shame.

My eyes clouded and wandered.

The voice continued on with persistence.

It tugged at my heartstrings.

It lifted my soul with hope,

Floated it above my damaged body.

I almost smiled as I reminisced.

The fog surrounding my soul made beautiful fleeting figures.

A smile and laughter of a long lost friend.

The trusting eyes and clutching hand of a once innocent.

Tired smirks and understanding nods of a caretaker.

They swirled around me,

Dancing in and out of sight,

All backed by the comforting hum of that voice

But as the smile began to stain

The hum rose and the tune tightened

My soul fell back

And I tried to rise once more.

Rise the body with the soul

Move it all to where my mind wandered

Make the hopes real

And exist now as it once did

But my head was still too heavy.

Angry tears streaked down my face.

Too heavy to move forward.

Too scared to follow once more.

Can’t stay in my mind.

Can’t live in my dreams.

The tune remained persistence,

Waiting for me to act.

To gather the confidence,

To trust in others once more.

To gather the strength,

To let go.

To gather the courage,

To move forward.

I know once I am able

To stumble in this darkness,

The tune will lead me.

Break me through to the other side.

Show me the light.

So I can show others.

The tune will always march on,

Even when the speaker passes on,

And gives the tune to me. 

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