I hate you 

I despise you

I can't even say your name with out wanting to pump my stomace 

your the reason I'm stuck in this never ending depression 

your the reason I became myself abuser 

as I cut my wrist clean 

i cant help but reminisce the day I came in contac with you 

how could I forget it ,January 11, 1996 

rejection for the start I wish you had the money for an abortion or just gave me up for an adoption 

cause knowing that I am your mistress white "it " is your lover 

kills me externaly and internally 

"It" cause you to despise me it lead to you to a road of deception

But no matter how high you get 

you'll still go to hell when u take your last breath

Not every sin is forgive

and I can never forget 

I couldn't even say my A,B,C 

when you let him press me face down on my bed sheets 

i no longer have tears to cry 

I grab a sliver blade and head twoards another little bule vain 

my heart is about exposed sending emegrnacey signals to brain

but still theirs no cooperation 

and I cant tak it !!

i can no longer take it!!

I dropped the blade smash the bottle and with all my force I aim twoards the source 

my heart filled in shock as it suddenly stop pumping 

as my body become life less numb and cold

my last thoughts where of you reading this Suicied Note 

P.s...why couldn't you love me mom