these walls are closing in on me. pressing against my body, crushing my chest,
My lungs collapse under the pressure. I fight for air but I know it's useless, I don't
Have what it takes to battle this hurt anymore. Anyways, what's the point of living if you
Don't want to be alive? Everyday I break a little more, everyday the tears fight harder for a way
out, and I don't know how much longer I can hold them back.
I know I need help but im to scared to ask for it. When people ask if im okay,
I just smile and say “im fine.” little do they know im dying inside.
I wonder how much longer i’ll have to suffer through this pain. Sometimes I just want to end my
Life, Other times im scared I actually will. This depressions becoming dangerous. I often think
about suicide, pressing lead into my skin, branding my flesh with my sadness.
At night I find myself staring up at the ceiling, as though it holds answers.
I’ll sometimes sink my teeth into myself, just to stop these thoughts from racing.
I feel anxious most of the time, the only thing that brings me comfort
Is solitude, knowing nobody can hurt me if i'm alone.
But I can still hurt myself.
Every morning I wake up and wonder what would happen if I didn't leave my bed,
If I surrendered myself to this darkness spreading within me.
Breathing takes too much energy, living drains me, but I still go on pretending to be happy.
I'm scared of what will happen if I don't. If I let people see my pain.
Will I become a monster?