SUICIDE

Location

Australia

ALL ALONE IN MY ROOM
THOUGHTS RUNNING
THROUGH MY HEAD
CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY
DARKNESS IS ALL AROUND
ALL ALONE WITH MY OWN SELF
STARING AT A REFLECTION
OF A GIRL IN THE MIRROR
I DON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ANYMORE
WHO IS SHE? AND
WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM ME?.

DEEP DARK SECRETS THAT
I'VE TRIED TO HIDE AWAY
TEARS I TRIED TO WIPE AWAY
INVISIBLE IS ALL I'VE EVER FELT
LIVING IN A WORLD
THAT'S FILLED WITH
EMPTINESS
AND SO MUCH NOTHINGNESS
ALL THIS LONELINESS AND MISERY
THIS PAIN I FEEL
BURNING INSIDE
LIKE A RAGING FIRE
NOT SURE HOW MUCH MORE
THAT I CAN TAKE OF IT.

MANY TIMES
I CONTEMPLATED CUTTING MYSELF
JUST TO FIND RELEASE
BUT I COULD NOT BRING MYSELF
TO PICK UP THAT KNIFE AND SO
I CUT MY HAIR SHORT
AND WORE MAKE UP
TO TRY TO HIDE THESE DARK CIRCLES
AROUND MY EYES
I TRY TO MASK IT ALL
BY WEARING A MASK
I PRETEND IT'S ALL OKAY
EVEN WHEN IT HURTS LIKE HELL
I TRY TO PLAY IT SAFE BUT
NO PLACE SEEMS TO BE SAFE FOR ME ANYMORE.

SUICIDE, IT'S ALL I SEEM TO THINK ABOUT
MAYBE THIS WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF
WITHOUT ME AROUND ANYMORE
SUICIDE, IT'S ALL MY FAULT
ARE THE THOUGHTS PLAYING ON MY MIND
I CAN'T SILENCE THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL
NO, I KEEP PLAYING IT ALL OVER AND OVER
THINKING OF WAYS TO END IT ALL.

BUT DEEP INSIDE I KNOW I SHOULD STAY
AND FIGHT THIS,
IF ONLY SOMEONE WOULD LISTEN
AND
NOT JUDGE ME
IF ONLY I HAD A SECOND CHANCE
TO START IT OVER, MAYBE I'D TELL ANYBODY
GOING THROUGH THE SAME PAIN
IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY
I WOULD HOLD HER WHILE SHE CRIED
I'D SAY TO HER, "LITTLE GIRL
IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT
I AM HERE FOR YOU NOW AND
I'M NEVER GONNA LEAVE YOU LONELY"

THAN MAYBE THINGS WILL BE BETTER
AND I COULD FINALLY BREATHE AGAIN".

SUICIDE, THEY SAY
SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER
THEY SAID
THAT I WAS SELFISH IF I EVER LEFT
IF I JUST LET IT ALL GO
I WAS TOLD TO GET OVER IT
I WAS ALWAYS TOLD TO
KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT BUT
ALL THIS EMOTIONAL STRESS
AND TRAUMA
BUT HOW DO I EVER GET OVER
SOMETHING AS PAINFUL AS THIS
WHEN
MY HEART HAS BEEN BROKEN
TOO MANY TIMES TO REMEMBER
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE
WHAT'S IT'S TO BE HAPPY, TO BE FREE
TO LIVE MY LIFE
WITHOUT ANY WORRIES, SUICIDE
THE FIRST TIME WAS WHEN I WAS
15 YEARS OF AGE.

THE PAIN I FELT INSIDE THAT DAY
WAS THE WORST PAIN I FELT
I CRIED ALOT OF TEARS
FEAR TOLD ME I'D NEVER MAKE IT THROUGH
BUT I PUSHED THROUGH THE MADNESS
OF MY LIFE AND I MADE IT
THROUGH
AND HERE I AM, AND HERE I AM.

I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND HOPELESS
LIKE I DON'T HAVE A HOME
LIKE I DON'T HAVE ANYBODY TO LOVE
I FEEL TRAPPED IN THIS PLACE THAT
I CALL MY SECRET HELL
TRAPPED CHAINED
SHACKLES
AROUND
MY HANDS AND FEET
THERE'S NOWHERE FOR ME TO HIDE
NOWHERE TO RUN TO PROTECT ME
FROM THESE MONSTERS IN MY HEAD
THESE DEMONS IN MY DREAMS.

ENDLESS NIGHTMARES
I SWEAT, I SHAKE, I SWEAR WHEN I'M ANGRY
FRUSTRATED AT ALL THIS CHAOS
NOT SURE HOW TO SILENCE THESE VOICES
WHO TELL ME I'M NO GOOD ANYWAYS
THEY ECHO LOUDER AND LOUDER
THE MORE THAT I CRY
THE MORE THAT I BREAK
THE MORE THAT I BREAK
THE MORE THAT I FALL TO PIECES
LIKE SHATTERED GLASS
PIECES SCATTERED ALL AROUND.

SUICIDE TRIED TO CLAIM MY LIFE
WHILE THE DEVIL TRIED TO CLAIM
MY ETERNAL SOUL
BUT THE DEVIL LOST THAT DAY
I REALISED THAT MY LIFE HAD A MEANING
AND LIFE HAD A PURPOSE, I CALL IT LOVE
I CALL IT HOPE, I CALL IT LOVE.

LOVE IT RESCUED ME AND
IT HEALED ME, I AM FINALLY FREE
LOVE IT RESCUED ME AND
IT MADE ME STRONG
SUICIDE IT TRIED TO GET THE BEST OF ME
BUT I FOUGHT WITH EVERYTHING I HAD
AND I FINALLY WON, THE BATTLE IS WON
I HAVE THE VICTORY AND
I WILL FOREVER SING MY VICTORY SONG
THIS IS MY VICTORY, ANTHEM OF LOVE.

This poem is about: 
Me

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