“Do I dare disturb the universe? In a minute there is time.”
When is that time?
I’m kind of disruptive.
What with my boisterous presence and devastatingly beautiful personality
I can prompt...disorder. I can be...unruly.
But am I really ready to take on the universe?
I like to use the sun emoji.
And not the creepy one with the face in the middle that sort of looks like the Teletubbies baby. BUT!
the plain one, just a yellow circle with a few spikes popping out of it.
Positive energy radiating from a glowing mass
Yesterday, my friend sent me a video about stars.
I thought it was going to be boring; he knows I hate science
But he remembered I like stars and space the same way he likes programming and math.
So I watched it.
Did you know those little blue veins in our wrists are made up of the same material
As the rings of Saturn
The rocks on Mars
and the trillions of stars in the sky?
We are made up of the same material as
Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania
The Amazon River in Brazil and
For a while, I had forgotten just how important
my everything is
I didn’t know
That those little blue veins I was so desperate to destroy
Those little blue veins I worked tirelessly to eradicate
were actually little bits of stardust,
little bits of sun rays,
little bits of me.
It took me ages to see myself in the sunlight
To allow my skin to soak up all the rays
To get myself out of what seemed like an endless black hole,
The gravitational force consuming my worth, my value, my being
It’s hard to compare yourself to the Sun when you as feel as insignificant as Pluto -
A dwarf planet, defenseless, unable to clear its own path.
The other day, my friend changed my contact name
called me Sunbeam Queen
even put my favorite emoji next to it
and in that moment I had never felt so alive
I was revitalized by the thought that I harness the power of the sun
Because the Sun stops for no one
And the stars shine whether you like it or not
And I will be the best damn sunbeam I can be.
I took the bus this morning.
Sat on the the frigid seat, thinking about homework and college and the rest of senior year
Until I saw the sunrise.
Until I saw how the orange hue of that tremendous sphere kissed the pale blue sky.
How the colors seemed to just run, blend, unite with each other without any thought.
And I remembered
That I am as compelling as Kilimanjaro
As dynamic as the Amazon
I am the Sunbeam Queen.
Now is my time.
Her Majesty is ready.