take your life.




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i had a dream i found myself in heaven

my spirit there among the angels high

they flew around with harps and horns and blessings

and asked me if i knew that i had died


at first i tried to call them on their folly

but quickly realized that they spoke the truth

for i was but a soul; i had no body

and all i kept were memories of youth


i felt it quick, the kiss of carpe diem

to bargain, or to fight off my malaise

but i was only filled with dreams of freedom

and the knowledge that i’d squandered all my days


blinded by the seraphim i struggled

straining toward the dark of mortal planes

hoping vainly maybe i could smuggle

a word or two back home upon the rains


i just wanted to tell my mom i love her

before she sees me in my funeral shroud

i wanted to live so i could discover

what i could do to make my father proud


everything that now i longed to redo

i realized could have been done yesterday

like making heard a million secret “thank-yous,”

i couldn’t find humility to say


or telling my friends how much i care for them

even when my words say otherwise

or never being strong enough to condemn

the parts of me that scream “why even try?”


suddenly i woke back in my bedroom

with skin upon my bones, and blood in veins

i realized i’d been living in a tomb;

to lead a passive life’s to live in pain


in retrospect each day is filled with moments

for us to make the most of if we choose

if each day is spent looking for atonement

then we are bound to live less than we lose


so revel in each moment like a lion

bare your teeth and feed on present days

get drunk on the now like it’s a fine wine

since it will keep aging when you decay


i am not a god, i am a human

i was never built to be divine

they say the good die young, and if that’s proven

i’d putresce just to eat up all my time


i am most afraid of leaving early

so when your sickle-handed rounds begin

please, don’t try to take me prematurely

cause i am not ready to give up sin


there is light and dark within this skin-helm

my mortal conflict is what gives me worth

what’s the point of moving to the next realm

with business left unfinished back on earth


i just want to live a life entire

all colors, good and bad, upon my soul

so one day if i find myself in fire

i can smile as i become charcoal


maybe it’s a reckless way to do things

to want to do it all, at any cost

to bet the present on a pair of white wings

that God gambled and maybe even lost?


there is not a promise of tomorrow

no assurance of homes in the sky

and if there is, i’m sure that i could borrow

a pair of keys if rent becomes too high


so again i’ll say, please, take your own life

rip it madly from the claws of death

go and run, for he must first grab his knife

before he can strip you of your breath


even now, i feel him close the distance

so take these joyous words from off my heart

if fear of death is part of your existence

then you were never living from the start

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