Taking Control

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Have you ever just sat down and thought about the decisions you have made? 

Or the decisions of others around you that have affected you in one way or another?

 

Well I've been doing that a lot lately and I have noticed that for the past two years all of my happiness has been dependent on the actions of others.

 

Wait, that's not right. Or at least it shouldn't be.

 

Nobody should have the power to control my happiness, but me,

but for some reason I kept giving this power to everyone who continuously hurt me or let me down.

 

I have no idea what my problem was.

 

Maybe I felt like I deserved to always be in pain all the time.

Maybe I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy at all.

 

I felt guilty about being happy while others weren't.

I felt like it was almost wrong and sinful to be happy.

 

I was wrong.

 

I was giving away my power and chipping pieces of myself away.

It got so bad that when I realized that I was doing this to myself, I couldn't even recognize myself anymore.

 

I lost myself

my motivation

my inspiration

my love

my hope

my joy

 

I was unrecognizable, even to myself

 

So I've decided that it's past time for me to take control of my own happiness.

It's time that I live for me

 

I need to find what I like,

do what I love,

work hard to achieve my goals

and do things for me!

 

It's time for me to make me happy.

Past Time!

 

So I'm taking the reins and creating my own path.

I'm taking control and nothing is going to stop me from achieving all of my goals and some!

 

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