Tears That Swallow You Whole

Wed, 04/15/2015 - 23:34 -- RaeLani

I may say that I'm bold

Or that my spine is made of steel

But deep inside

A pit so big

It makes the world so unreal

The rot that I feel

From the smallest jab

The pain inside could make me explode

It's like this every time

Even though I wish it wasn't so

I don't like the feeling

So I wish it away

Keep the tears inside

And wait for tomorrow

Why does this pit continue?

Even when I though I had filled it

Why is it the same?

Every time it feels like I'm the one to blame

I probably am

I should know this by know

I don't do anything worth while

I should know by know that I'm useless

And that I always make people mad

I should know by now

That I should try harder

And do what I said

Sometimes the pit reopens

And I feel like dying

Sometimes I sit

Holding the axe

Looking down at the world I wish to leave

Why are their days?

When I can't even breath

The suffocation that comes from pain

Is worst than drowning in ones own breath

Breathing is a sin

For those who believe they're no longer needed

What's worst than a pain that drowns you?

And keeps you alive at the same time

The air gets thick

Forcing it's way in

Only to rip open the bubbles along the throat

Filled with sharp needles

Even though you can feel the crushing tickles in your nose

The spears in your heart

And the things that feel like they're tearing you apart

Why can't you go

Those few more inches

That would stop the pain

And give peace the those still living?

Why can't you do one thing right

And stop the need for anger?

What good are you

If you still exist?

This poem is about: 
Me

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