Tell a Lie that You Believe

Sinking deeper into my own feelings of concealment, / It's so much easier to tell a lie that you believe. / Before you start to say it out loud things like this almost don't feel real, / Then you start to talk about them, think about them, explain yourself, / And suddenly things just don't make sense anymore. / Are my parents my parents, or are they slaves to their beliefs? / Do they love me, or do they love the lie I tell them? / I wake up in the morning to put an act on just for them. / Is it sad that I'm more real with people I barely know than those that gave me life? // I'd be lying to myself if I said it didn't hurt me. / I did lie to myself for far too long. / To hear them discredit the person I really was while praising the person I really wasn't, / It tore me apart inside. / At least before it was just anger / A flash in that pan I'd forget about later / Now it feels like every word is a blow, / Like the hate is directed at me. / But they don't know, // That's my explanation, / The reason that they tear me down while tearing down the nation. / It's not me they hate, / It's all those other people, / But I am those other people, except while in the steeple. // I believe in God with all my heart, / At least I let them think that, / If they knew I wasn't perfect would they still be proud? / I think back, / to all those other times / when I was by myself / When I didn't think about these things / When I was someone else / I was more comfortable then / Because the lie I lived was easy / I'm was straight, believed in God /It's all just lemon squeezy / But now it seems I'm everything they hate about the world / But I can't keep living that old lie / I keep acting like their sweet girl / They tell me they have hope for me / That I'm the only one who can / If only they knew better / That I can never love a man//

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

Comments

Grant-Grey Porter Hawk Guda

Powerful expression. Always let poetry fill your life. Keep expressing your heart.  

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741