I guess I’m okay.
People ask me all the time, “Hey, are you asian or something?”
That happened in
fourth grade and for the most part I told them that an
asian boy wouldn’t be able
to fluently speak spanish and have the last name
I guess I’m strange.
Apparently I am an Aquarius and
I have no idea what that means.
January 30th is my birthday and I
love tea so much.
I’m too nice to strangers.
Sometimes when I walk through large crowds
my eyes connect with other eyes like the wifi connects to your phone
and I smile.
And some smile back.
And some don’t even bother to acknowledge my existence and stare off
into the universe.
They look through me like
when people go window shopping,
something in particular.
I guess I’m weird.
I was raised by a mechanic and a housekeeper. Those two don’t
really seem to get along.
Whenever I’m home there is always a constant struggle between engine oil, car parts,
pine sol, vacuum cleaners, and even more
There are days where I don’t give a shit and let my room become swallowed by
a tsunami of clothes, books, and unhealthy habits.
There are days when my inner clean freak emerges from the very bottom
and I drench my room with cleaning products; wiping every
last speck of dust I see.
“Kill every last one of them!”
as I spray febreeze for my final attack.
“Hawaiian sunset isn’t
even a real thing, but
I love the smell either way.”
I guess I’m lazy.
My dog tells me I don’t like to share the bed
and unintentionally push
him off during the middle of the night.
I can sleep for more than ten
eight on Tuesday,
if I feel like it,
maybe two on Friday, and
Saturdays I don’t sleep at all.
I’m lazy like when you wake up on a school day and lay there
for thirty minutes,
forced to remind yourself about the poor decisions you’ve made in life.
Maybe I shouldn’t have watched a two hour long movie at two in
the morning. Maybe I shouldn’t have spent forty dollars worth of junk food at
eleven. Maybe I shouldn’t have told my
dad I crash my car going
on our drive
I guess I’m different.
Sometimes I’ll listen to Nas and
he tells me that
the world is yours.
Or I’ll listen to the
Arctic Monkeys and convince
I wanna be yours.
I’ll listen to hardcore hip hop when I have a bad day.
“One in the chamber, thirty two in the clip. Motherfuckers better strip.”
I’ll listen to indie rock when I have a sad day.
“When I’m not being honest, I pretend that you were just some lover.”
And I don’t know myself.
Sleeping is my favorite pastime and spending countless hours on
Tumblr is my favorite hobby.
I hope one day I’ll look in the mirror and realize I’ve known myself since the day I was born.
You know what?