When it comes to sexting in public,
there are a few things to know:
The first thing
is that whatever you were doing before,
will not get done. If you're doing it right,
this is going to be your main focus
for a hot minute.
This is a game of discreet passion.
You have to be both
in the moment that you and your lover
have written in and be present enough
to whatever is going on around you
so no one will check who you're texting.
You'll learn, very quickly,
that your sex vocabulary is shockingly limited.
There is in fact, a finite amount of times
you can use the word “fuck” in a sext.
That includes variations of it.
This is where those inappropriate thoughts
on the bus ride come in handy. Think
about the little things. Be detailed.
The art is all in the verbal teasing.
Become a cunning linguist.
But as you compose these saucy texts,
make sure that you don't get too noticeably
excited. Sit in a way that is comfortable
and will conceal your boner.
When you read something particularly...
provocative, don't show it on your face:
show it in your response back.
If you need help,
a good couple of starting points are:
What would I want you to do now?
What do I want to do to you right now?
Just like normal sex, this is give and take.
Send a sext that can go somewhere,
that leaves room for a steamy answer.
If you just tell about how much you want to fuck,
it's not going to be the best of fun.
Sext: I want you naked in the kitchen
Sext: Baby, I need you.
Sext: How do you feel about whipped cream?
Take in every word they write back to you
and relish it. You two have entered a form
of sexual intimacy that used to take
long-distance couples weeks to perform!
Sext: Why stop there? Laundry room too?
Sext: I love it when you're bad.
Sext: Only if you lick it all off.
Shit. Was that sent to my mom?
Even countries away, miles apart,
or just in the other room, you two have decided
to be together in this moment because
you can't wait any longer.
Sext: I want to strip the walls of this home and rebuild them with you.
Sext: We are stories being written, edited, and read aloud to each other.
Sext: I'm going to place an entire desert in our hourglass.
If you can, allow yourself to get lost.
Even if you have to get away to be alone,
to be together, do it.
Sext: We'll be old, retired, in rocking chairs
and I'll still try to impress you.
Sext: I want to fit into your back like a spoon
into the soft of an avocado.
Sext: You twirl your hair like a goddamned pistol.
Cupid's arrows have nothing on you.
And you'll feel the shift, the pulse and rhythm,
the tectonic plates settling after moving
the entire world, then you send the last,
and the sexiest of sexts.
Sext: I love you.