For Those Who Want To Know Me

Everybody wants to talk to me

Everybody wants to know about the secrets that i bottle

The thoughts I keep to myself

Still nobody is ready to know the truth

And im not ready to tell them

Bound by fear and silence i embrace the solitude

Finding sanctuary in the fact that nobody can hurt me if i'm alone

But i can still hurt myself

Because i don't bottle secrets i bottle pain

Feelings I could never put into words are coming back to bite me

Filling my head with thoughts of suicide and death

Scared of the monster I feel growing inside me

I cower in the thick shadows depression has cast over me

As i get eaten alive by anxiety

So for  those of you who really want to know me

Let me just ask you this

Do you really want to take on this burden?

Do you really want to see through my facade?

See that i'm broken?

Are you willing to sift through the chaos and clutter of my mind 

because be fair warned there is no gold  there.

Dear person you would be so much better off without my grief weighing you down

So for those who want to know me

Stop.

Stop trying to get into my head because there is nothing but pain there.

Stop trying to hack into my heart because there is no key to it.

Stop trying to get me to talk to you because i'm not going to.

I feel safer by myself. 

 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family

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