Time Warp

Location

They told her she was worthless

And that she was worth less than the grains of sand in a hourglass

And that there weren’t enough hours in a day to remind her of unworthiness

 

And the man who was supposed to love her so,

Left her to sew up her wounds

Wounds she got from selling her blood to pay the rent of being broken

Broken from all the tears shed on nights of self loathing

Studying just to fail her test of feeling anything but worthless

And society made it easy to hate herself.

Picking herself up with all her might

Well she might run out of strength

Drowning in her dreams

Dreams turned into nightmares

And how dare they say ‘be happy’ as if being sad is her choice

Protesting that the ideology of those who never had to fight for the same right as another have no room to talk

Because the fact that she has a voice has to be enough

And she has to speak for those who have had their voices stolen, the silent soldiers

Fighting a battle that no one could begin to comprehend,

They try to understand

But they can’t

 

So here are the people with their voices stolen,

And those who have a voice still are shoved so far underground that the mantle of this earth seems above it

 

But those restless nights keep her up

Lost in the mess she calls her mind

The mind that tells her that it’s mind over matter

But some nights nothing makes sense and the lack of self esteem causes a war inside

A civil war

 

Scaling the tight rope that she calls life

It’s always been a balancing act between relapse and recovery

And maybe she didn’t search herself hard enough for the ‘file’ ‘save’

To save herself

 

But sometimes you have to fall just to prove you’re strong enough to get back up

No escape except to get used to being broken

But she’s worked too long to just throw her hands up in defeat

Racking up hospital bills and getting altitude sickness from standing up for herself

 

But now she’s the voiceless one in a world full of people who finally learned to speak

 

After all, she had a Ph. D in being taken for granted,

Not a degree to fix the world

 

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