Timing

Location

Every person is born with an empty canvas.

 

From a young age she showed promise

She learned addition and subtraction when she was just 5 years old,

Her times table when she was 6.

Her reading comprehension was years beyond her classmates.

 

That’s when her parents began painting thick black lines for her future

 

She’s never had a problem with it.

Not once did she question what she was doing.

She always figured that was who she was.

And so she painted,

Painted within the lines she was given.

 

She went to school,

Did well. (Did really well)

Joined clubs and activities,

Made friends

But no one ever knew.

 

She was always smiling.

She was always laughing,

And no one thought otherwise.

 

No one saw the pressure building within her

No one saw the pain she felt

Because that was who she was.

 

She sees the lines painted on her canvas.

And she takes on these ideals,

these images painted for her.

by her parents,

her teachers,

her peers.

 

They want her to be the perfect girl,

To become the perfect painting they have imagined for her

with the perfect grades,

the perfect body,

the perfect life.

 

And she wants to be the girl they have always dreamed of

Not for herself,

But for them.

To fulfill their expectations of her.

She lives to bring happiness to others;

to help others along their path 

their journey, 

their adventure.

 

But that painting is not what she wants,

That’s not who she is.

But she doesn’t have the heart to ruin their dreams,

to ruin their image of her.

 

She has no idea what she wants,

What image she wants to create

But she's working on it

(in secret of course).

 

She knows that she feels

(maybe a little too much).

That she cries during movies, 

and songs,

and performances.

when things start to feel too real.

 

She knows that she wants to make a difference.

That she smiles when their eyes light up

and when passion is oozing out of them

and when their excitement is infectious.

 

She wants to know the future,

Yet terrified for what the future has in store

She wants to find her soul mate,

Yet unwilling to dip her toes in the dating pool

 

She feels insecure, indecisive, and insignificant

 

But she’s passionate.

And she’s caring

And she puts everything she’s has to the goal at hand.

 

She’s not ready to start a whole new canvas.

She doesn’t even know where to start.

But she’ll find her inspiration someday,

And when she does,

She’ll be ready to take on the world.

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