Trapped
Location
I drove down narrow streets that had been abandoned by daylight.
Darkness is comforting;
no one can find you.
Not even yourself.
Headlights sliced the shadows like the thoughts sliced my mind
and I wondered,
I am wondering:
Why do they say those words that trap me in my mind and leave no escape?
Why do they tell me the things that every girl prays not to hear?
Why me?
The words echo in my head...
fat,
ugly,
stupid,
worthless.
and I know I’m not the only one to be burned by bullies
and I know I’m not the last.
I slam on the brakes
but I slam my palms on the steering wheel harder.
Not. Good. Enough.
Maybe if I was better at this
or maybe if I was better at that...
But I’m not.
I need to get out
but I’m trapped.
The voice of the persistent bully laughs in my head and I try to shut it out
but it’s hard when the bully’s voice is your own.