I hate you for what you did...

You ripped my true love out of my arms

if only we were white, I suppose

you would have warned him before you assumed

 

You assume we are the same

and intend to be violent and cause trouble

But the only thing violent

were the three bullets that kissed his sole goodbye that night

 

My eyes will never see the same again

my first crush and dearest childhood friend

I will never feel the same about the color blue

or the person wearing the badge

that read 115

 

He held me at gunpoint

as my friend took his last gasps

I may never love again because of what you did

 

I tried to stay quiet

but my own silence deafened me

His presence in my dreams

wrecked me

 

The blood that flooded out from him

kept me from breathing

I can't breathe

and it's all because of 115

 

I was taught not to fear the police

only to act smart around them

I wish 115 acted smart around us

and noticed the “suspected weapon” was that of a hairbrush

 

I finally broke my silence

to get justice for my friend

and to send 115 to hell

so I could breathe calmly once again

 

but he was sent on paid leave

A coward who followed the stereotype

and ultimately feared him and me

Two black kids he assumed were up to no good

 

He killed my best friend

and got a slap on the wrist for doing so

A coward

I was one too

I hated myself for it

and so did mostly everyone around me

but coward to coward

I have only one thing to ask you,

Do you wish you had shot me too?