Put down the phone,
Wipe off a mask of high dollar paint,
Let down my mangled, dull almost dread-locked hair.
And I am finally natural.
But in that mirror, big enough to show every angle, I see a person I don’t know.
I see a girl that is almost me, but not the me I want others to have the misfortune of seeing.
I see black heads,
A crooked nose,
Scars, from years of picking at the smallest of flaws.
I see the beginnings of a double chin, and a bone structure hidden under chubby cheeks.
Disproportionate eyes to forehead ratio and a thin-lip-lined mouth with offset bottom teeth.
In that mirror I see a girl who is almost me, but not the me that I want to see.
She’s more tired than I imagined – drained.
Her skin looks like it was carved by years of worry, more years than she’s been alive.
In effort to comfort her I reach out to hold her face in my hand, and my fingertips only touch the glass.
Sliding my fingers across her face, it feels smooth and cool, almost how I wish mine did.
I begin to smile at the girl in the mirror when she smiles back at me and I’m reminded I’m staring face to face with my own reflection.
Laughing at my stupidity and dumbfoundedness, I step back.
Looking at the larger picture, I resemble everything I’ve ever wanted to be.
A best friend, daughter, dedicated and faithful follower, serious student, future mother and wife.
All the dreams wrap around my reflection at once
And I realize I am who I want to be, not the scars and the blackheads.
My character defines me, not knotted hair or tired eyes.
Every inch has a story that people deserve to read like an open book.
They’ll read me from cover to cover and take away from it what they want but I’ll know more than they ever will.
My flaws are my flaws and that’s what makes them flawless.